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In college, I’ve met people from diverse ethnic, religious, and socioeconomic backgrounds. I’ve made friends from all over California, and sometimes, even all over the United States. The majority of people I spend time with are first or second generation Americans. Yet despite these supposed differences, we all seem to share a similar outlook on life.

Based on my cursory observational research study of all the people I’ve met over the last four years, I’ve found that what differentiates us more than any of our glaring cultural dissimilarities is the variation in our parents’ approach to our education. My own parents never pushed me to study one subject or another, so I was nearly in shock after countless of my new friends, on separate occasions, explained to me how their parents would be angry, disappointed, devastated, disapproving, etc. if they couldn’t claim a doctor as their daughter, or if their son graduated with anything other than a degree in engineering.

While some of these friends appreciate having this guided path to their education (and life thereafter), others resentfully obey their parents’ wishes. These hard-working future professionals spend hours indoor laboring over chemistry equations under their parents’ jurisdiction, wishing that the controlling pair that pays their bills would let them frolic near the ocean and read books in the sun like the literature majors do (or as they think the literature majors do…). Though maybe eventually, they too will thank their parents for drawing up their blueprint for a successful career.

On the other end of the spectrum, are those who wished their parents had pushed a little harder. They dwell on a life decision to not do one thing or another, and will often blame their parents for these missteps. Personally, I like to fault my parents for the fact that I’m unathletic, can’t play the piano, and don’t speak 15 languages. Recently, I even heard my mom wish aloud that her parents had pushed her into majoring in computer science.

After letting these regrets ruminate and fully thinking them through, I came to a realization—there is no way I ever could have been good at gymnastics and the reason I don’t play the piano is because I refused to practice (I stand by blaming them for my monolingualism). Similarly, for my mother, no amount of formal training would turn her into a computer geek. I mean, the woman needs a 12 year old to help her use an iPhone.

In the end, we are who we are, and excessive amounts of expensive education can rarely altogether change our interests, let alone skillsets. Although pushing an indecisive child with a knack for physics toward a career in civil engineering may be exactly what he or she needs, a university education will not transform a squeamish bookworm into a straight-A biology lover. In my still college degree-less opinion, instead of pushing your children toward your unrealized dreams and away from the subjects they love, support their passions and push them toward success in whatever field they chose to study.

The idea for this blog post was sparked by an interesting Huffington Post discussion, “Should We Force Our Kids to Major in Science or Engineering?“